Parenting with PLAY!
Hitting, shouting, throwing, biting, pinching, being mean......
It’s just awful when your child is aggressive - to you, a sibling, the dog.... It’s even worse when it’s in public and towards another child. You probably feel incredibly embarrassed, frustrated & worried.
It’s normal to feel angry towards your child and understandable when you shout or get cross with them.
But as you know, it doesn’t help the situation, and your child’s behaviour probably ends up getting even worse.
You’ve no doubt explained many times about why hitting isn’t a good thing to do. You may have tried consequences, rewards charts or Time out.
And yet your child keeps on being aggressive
So maybe you’ve started to think there’s something wrong with your child. Or that there’s something wrong with what you’re doing, or what your husband or partner is doing.
Perhaps you’re finding yourself losing it at your child more & more, shouting at them, punishing them, maybe smacking them - anything to try to teach them what’s not acceptable behaviour.
And yet, the issue remains and you’re in this cycle of aggression, shouting and/or giving up in despair, whilst your child's behaviour escalates.
And throughout, you may well have the underlying fear of - if they’re like this now, what on earth are they going to be like when they’re a teenager?!
So I want you to know that I get it. I really understand.
And, I can help.
Your child isn’t being aggressive because you’ve modelled it at home. Or because they think it’s acceptable. They know that hitting or being mean isn’t kind.
Instead, they're behaving this way because of how they're feeling and what's going on for them.
There ARE things you can do to turn aggressive behaviour around
Receive the support you need to learn how to best respond - what's actually going to work, and start turning things around. I offer empathic & even fun responses which WILL get to the heart of matter and help your beautiful, loving child to re-emerge again.
The 4 part video series introduces practical, simple & often fun strategies to turn things around:
- Understand the root causes of aggressive behaviour
- Learn why traditional discipline methods aren't helpful
- Discover the 2 main things your aggressive child really needs
- Start to feel more confident in helping to transform your child's behaviour
- See more of the loving side of your gorgeous child again which lies beneath their aggression
" I was finding my son’s aggression very draining & he was also still struggling with separation anxiety.
I was questioning my ability as a parent, blaming myself for my parenting choices and worrying about what was wrong with my son.
I learnt that it was ok to allow him to cry and have a tantrum, that it wasn't my job to distract him and make him happy. It was my job to support those big feelings and listen.
The aggression improved & we're certainly happier. Thank you Helena xx"
(Nikki, son aged 4)
"I needed help to assist me with managing tantrums that my then 18 month old boy was displaying and to also assist me with managing any potential big feelings from him as I was expecting my second baby at the time.
I found that my toddler is a lot calmer and happier when I use the strategies that I learned. When we connect through play and games, he’s certainly easier to handle and more willing to please.
This has really made a difference with how I parent and has given me a new way to connect with my children.
(Alma, son aged 18 months)
I'm Helena Mooney and I'm a Parenting by Connection Instructor and an Aware Parenting Instructor. I'm also mum to 2 children so I really understand how challenging aggressive behaviour can be.
When I became a parent I vowed to be the most gentle, respectful mum (ever!). I thought I was doing everything 'right' and then was completely bewildered when my eldest started becoming aggressive from a young age.
I respectfully explained to her that hitting wasn't kind and that she needed to stop.
I gently would put her down away from me, so she would learn that hitting wasn't acceptable.
But she still continued.
My husband & I weren't modelling aggressive behaviour. We were being as calm as we can. It was a mystery to me why she was behaving in this way.
I started to get frustrated and angry with her, and realised I needed some help as I didn't know what to do and I didn't want to be punitive.
And that's when I discovered Aware Parenting. I discovered the reason why she was hitting me (and not sleeping well) and learned what I could do to help her.
I learned how her emotions governed her behaviour and ways I could help when she had tantrums, got frustrated, angry or upset.
It was a huge lightbulb moment, and this way of parenting has changed my life and has guided how I parented her as she got older and when her brother came along.
Not only did I learn how to help her with her aggressive behaviour, but also to help her sleep better, manage sibling squabbles, deal with anxieties, manage the transition to pre-school and school, etc, etc...
I love supporting parents, just like you, to gain the understanding, tools & support to be able to transform their children's aggressive behaviour.
This approach is incredibly respectful, practical and highly effective. It's also a lot of fun.
“I just wanted to say a huge, big, thank you. The change in me as a parent has been positive and the change in my son has been amazing.
That amazing connection is such a gift and the best present I could give him so money very well spent.
Keep going and spreading the word for this beautiful way of parenting."
(Rowena, son aged 6)
"I went through 5 therapists, before I found my Guardian Angel who goes by the name of Helena.
Partnered with her spectacular listening skills are her guidance skills for navigating this sensitive game of parenting. She’s lead me through big and small problems with patience, compassion, love and perspective."